


in the bleak midwinter

by lovelyflowersinherhair



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:15:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21735895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyflowersinherhair/pseuds/lovelyflowersinherhair
Summary: “Why did you cancel the photos?” JB didn’t really care about the photos, but she wanted to know if Alice was okay, without using so many words. She didn’t really like to talk about feelings. Talking about feelings had always led to her getting hurt. Even though Jellybean knew that Alice wasn’t going to hurt her, she was still wary. “Is it because of Charles?”
Relationships: Alice Cooper & Jellybean Jones
Kudos: 11
Collections: Home for the HoliDale





	in the bleak midwinter

Jellybean had never celebrated Christmas. Well, she supposed that that was an inaccurate statement. She had vague memories of Christmases spent in the house her parents had shared when they were still married, a blatantly artificial tree wilting in the corner of their living room, a handful of gifts scattered under it, a crackling tape of carols playing on the old tape deck that her dad had gotten when he was in the Army, the volume of them never fully drowning out the heated arguments of Gladys and FP, despite Jughead’s best efforts. There had been no holidays when she had been working at the chop shop with her mother, at least, so it was accurate to say that she barely remembered celebrating the day. 

And, of course, she had never celebrated the holiday in the manner that Alice had insisted that it be celebrated in.

She’d come home from a horrible Thanksgiving dinner in Toledo with her grandparents (Gladys hadn’t even bothered to show up) to see that the house on Elm Street had turned into a glittery, multicolored monstrosity. A trio of lighted reindeer had congregated on the front lawn, and the house itself had been decked in lights, along with several matching wreaths, and the interior of the house hadn’t been spared either. A rather large Christmas tree had greeted her when she’d stormed into the the house, the twinkling lights mocking her, and there was a slightly smaller tree in the living room. Christmas music was piped through the house at a low volume, and Alice was wearing a ridiculous set of antlers. 

She had gone up to her room to play Minecraft, not wanting to be a victim to the blonde’s insistence on holiday cheer, and had spent the next two weeks making herself scarce when Alice had made attempts to coax her into things like watching Christmas movies or arraigning displays of Christmas cards. 

Christmas was lame. Jellybean saw no reason to pretend to enjoy it.

At the same time, though, she was hungry, and rationalized that she would take her chances on food, even if it meant having to be around a perversely cheerful version of her dad’s girlfriend. If Jellybean cared (she didn’t) she would have questioned Alice’s sudden capacity for joy, and holiday cheer. It was vaguely disconcerting. 

“I want to cancel my Christmas photos,” Jellybean heard Alice say into the phone, as she descended down the stairs, noting afterward that there was a distinct lack of cloying music permeating the house. “No, I understand that I’ll have to pay a fee,” she continued. “I just don’t see the point anymore.”

Jellybean frowned. The Christmas photos had been the only thing that she’d been willing to concede on, mainly because her dad had pointed out that it probably made Alice sad to not have any family photos to look at with her ex-husband having been a serial killer, and her older daughter being off in the loony bin, and having told her that it was important for Alice that Jellybean participate in the photo session, after Charles had been persuaded to. Had the FBI douchebag upset Alice by changing his mind? She knew that Alice considered their relationship on borrowed time now that the investigation was over, and the farm had been dissolved, at least, that had been what Alice had told her dad after that bullshit therapy session Betty had forced her into. Jellybean was going to kick his ass if he had. She didn’t want to pretend to be a happy family, but she wasn’t going to let him get away with being a dick. 

She drew in a deep breath, and forced herself to enter the room that Alice was in, even though she could hear the sound of quiet sobbing.

“Alice?” 

“What?” 

“Why did you cancel the photos?” JB didn’t really care about the photos, but she wanted to know if Alice was okay, without using so many words. She didn’t really like to talk about feelings. Talking about feelings had always led to her getting hurt. Even though Jellybean knew that Alice wasn’t going to hurt her, she was still wary. “Is it because of Charles?” 

Alice shook her head. “I don’t want to have them taken anymore,” she said after a moment. “What’s the point?”

“Dad said that you didn’t have any family photos anymore,” she said. “At least, not ones that you can display, because of that thing that happened.” 

“Yeah, well, I don’t see the point anymore,” she whispered. “I only wanted them when they were going to be my family. The family that I picked. The family that I chose.” 

“I don’t have to be in them,” she offered. “I know I’m not anyone’s choice.” 

Alice shook her head. “I’m not talking about you, JB,” she said, and she dabbed at her eyes with the hem of her sleeve. “I chose you, and your father, and your brothers. I know that you can’t stand me and Elizabeth, but you’re not who I’m talking about.” 

“Is Polly coming back?” 

She shook her head again. “Fuck Polly,” she said. “She fucking ruined my damn life.” She shook her head. “No, that  _ fucking _ shrink and that damn principal ruined my life. Couldn’t just fucking leave well enough alone, could they? God forbid that Polly’s children, the children that I  _ told _ her that she wasn’t capable of keeping, just stay where they damn well were? Even after I offered to pay for a damn nanny? No, no, the therapist thinks that caring for Polly’s children is ‘ruining Cheryl’s mental health’, so guess who gets to deal with with them? What about  _ my _ mental health?”

Jellybean said nothing as Alice opened the cabinet and took out a bottle of wine, and a rather large glass, which she filled to the brim. 

“I never got a choice about anything,” she continued. “Not about who I married, not about keeping my son, and now I don’t get a damn choice about whether or not I have to be saddled with my damn grandchildren for the rest of my life.” She took a gulp of the drink. “They don’t care that I don’t want to be their guardian, they don’t care that they’re forcing your father into something he probably won’t ever have wanted to do, they don’t even care that I’m essentially  _ homeless _ and that…that for once, I thought that with Hal dead, I could have a damn say about  _ my _ life. And you know what Elizabeth had the nerve to say to me? That I should be glad that I’ll have children to care for who aren’t going to ‘grow up and leave me’.”

“I don’t think that Dad will care,” Jellybean said after a moment. “He always tried, you know, with me and Jug. We were unwanted, too. What’s the difference between us and Polly’s kids?” 

“Your father wasn’t in a  _ relationship _ with his own cousin!” Alice exclaimed. “And he did want you, because you and your brother were his children, not my bastard grandchildren that I explicitly told Margaret I was not going to raise.” 

“Did you even talk to him about it?” Jellybean asked. 

Alice shook her head. “No. They’re my problem, not his. I’ll just find a place of my own. To deal with them. I won’t take advantage of his kindness on their behalf.” 

“Is that what Mr. Cooper would have made you do?”

“Do you even have to ask that?” 

Jellybean hadn’t actually meant to ask Alice the question, it had just slipped out, but she had, and she was committed to it.

“I mean, it’s not like I remember him ever being nice to you,” she said with a shrug. “I don’t remember much, you know, I was a kid when my mom took me away. But I don’t remember him ever being nice.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Dad’s not like that. He loves you. He’s not gonna make you leave because Polly got knocked up and Cheryl’s crazy and you have to deal with the aftermath.” She wrinkled her nose. “He’d probably be  _ happy _ about them,” she said with a sigh. “Call them his little snakelets.” She rolled her eyes. “He’s kind of lame like that.”

“Harold wanted Polly to put the children up for adoption,” Alice said after a moment. “She refused, and she gave birth to them at the farm. I don’t...I barely know them. She didn’t want me around them, even when we were in the farm together, and I was fine with that, because I told her that I didn’t want to be their mother. She didn’t want me to be either. It was the  _ only _ thing that we’d agreed on in years.” 

“And--”

“And now I look  _ evil _ because I don’t want to be that for them. I don’t want to saddle myself with them for what? In the hopes that Polly will ever get better? That’s deluded.” She shook her head. “It’s not fair. For any of you. I’m not just thinking of me here. It’s all good for Betty to volunteer us to take them in, she and your brother are leaving. They’re going away to college and she gets to look like the good sister for ‘supporting her niece and nephew’. Meanwhile  _ you’re _ going to be stuck in the house with two  _ toddlers _ that you don’t know and I  _ never _ wanted you and your father to  _ have _ to know them.”

“I don’t care about that,” she told her. “I’ll just ignore them. It doesn’t matter.” 

“I just -- I wanted things to be perfect,” she whispered. “It’s our first Christmas together as a family. Probably our only Christmas with everyone there.” 


End file.
